This Things Called Love
by Confessed4Life
Summary: Takes place right after 'Reckoning' of S1 and before 'Marked' of S2. So I wrote this back last year, so the format is wrong  but I seemed to have forgotten to post it here... Please read and review...


The forest was filled with noise of celebration coming from town, Kahlan, slowly walking along a creek hummed along with the music, a small smile across her lips. Behind her in a distance Richard sat beneath a tree, hidden by its shadow, watching her. Every move she made filled him with happiness. They were alive. More importantly she was alive. That meant the most to him.

As he continued to watch, his mind drifted off over their time together. He did this often. Though after his time with Denna, he had done it a bit more. He never wanted to lose his memories of Kahlan. Several minutes went by before he realized she was no longer in his sight. She was right beside him. "How long have you been there?" she smiled at his confused expression. "Not long. You seemed deep into your thoughts. I didn't want to disturb you." "You could never disturb me." their eyes connected for a moment. Not very long, but long enough to make Kahlan nervous, she turned away slowly almost begging him to stop her. He didn't.

He stared at her for a second, reached over, and touched her shoulder and gently turned her to face him. "Kahlan, now that we've completed the prophecy, there's no reason to..." he paused trying to say something he knew would upset her. "To... No reason we can't be togeth" he stopped when she leaped from the ground and walked about ten feet away from him. Her back facing him. He however didn't move.

He sat there without an expression. Black face staring out towards her, not at her. "Richard we... We can never..." she paused taking in deep breaths trying desperately to catch the air that was quickly escaping her lungs. "I could never, I would never do that to you." He was standing now, though he hadn't left his spot by the tree. "Why not? I'm not needed any longer." "That's not true." she said quickly. She turned and watched him for a moment before he turned to face the tree and leaned his head against it and sighed loudly as he propped himself up against it with his elbow.

In a calm voice came "You're wrong." He waited for her to argue but she didn't. Somehow she knew he wanted to say more. "They don't need me anymore, Kahlan. Before when you told me I could go home. You are my home, without you I have nothing. I am nothing. I want to be with you. Only you... forever." she waited before she responded. "You say that now." she took a step towards him when she continued. "You say that, but you don't know what it would be like. You won't be yourself, you will be lost. The very part of you who thinks this is what you want will be gone. You will have no choice. I would rather lose you because you no longer cared for me, than to leave you with no choice." she sighed and started to walk away quietly.

"Kahlan. Does it not matter that when it is my choice, when I choose, that I choose you? I choose to love you?" he turned around as he finished. Tears were collecting in her eyes. She wouldn't let them fall. "No." she said barely loud enough for him to hear. "It does." He was right behind her, she could feel his presents, before she felt his breath on her ear.

"Richard, please..." she turned to face him and the moment she did he reached out and pulled her into a hug. He hugged her tight. "Richard let me go." "I can't. I feel if I let you go now, I'll loose you forever and I don't know why." her arms remained at her sides. She knew if she returned his hug the battle, her battle would be lost. "Kahlan..." he whispered. "You can't ask me to hurt you." she said into his chest. Her mind filled with images of him, of them and her love for him. How could she hurt him?

How could she destroy the man she loved? There laid the problem. She loved him. The tears flowed from her eyes soaking his shirt. She couldn't take it any longer. She pressed her hand to his chest and tried to push free. He wouldn't let her go. "Richard, let me go." her voice was filled with pain. "I can't bare to loose you." he replied pulling her closer to him making it difficult for her to struggle very much. His words hit her hard, as she threw her arms around him suddenly trying to comfort him. "You could never loose me, Richard. I..."her words wouldn't leave her mouth. She found herself holding him as tightly as he held her. Their hearts beating faster and faster. For each the feel of the others heart beat was comforting. She never felt as safe as she did when he held her.

In his arms everything escaped her. There was only him, only her. There was only them and her hidden love for him. "Kahlan, I love you." He said it. Words no untouched man had ever said to a confessor. She almost melted. Trying to control the flow of tears that had started to flow once again. She pushed herself away just enough to look at him. "You shouldn't love me." "Kahlan," he pushed the hair away from her face and then gently cupped her cheeks with both hands. "You can't help who you love. You're not supposed to." "Why would you do that?" "Do what?" "Why would you love someone who can hurt you?" He sighed "Kahlan, I know you. You would never hurt me." "Don't you see? That's what we do! How could you care for something like me?" "Something?" he grabbed her hands and held them between them. "I love you, not for what you are, but who you are and who I am when I am with you." he pause taking a breath.

"I know you care for me, just as I do you, and I know you don't want to hurt me, but I also know that without you I am nothing, I want nothing. If I can't have you I want no other. You are my life, my home and my heart." When he finished she waited a moment before responding. When she started to reply she realized there was nothing she could say. Her heart felt as though it were about to explode. She loved him so much, and if he knew... there would be no chance for her to keep him... himself.

When he realized she wasn't going to say anything he stepped closer and looking in her eyes he could see her inner battle. He pulled her to him and kissed her. His kiss was hard with passion which grew as she kissed him back with the same amount of force. Her mind tried desperately to stop her, her heart couldn't bring herself to pull away.

She awoke in his harms, held tightly as if in his sleep he was afraid she'd leave. A moment of pure bliss flowed through her, the moment wasn't long enough once she realized what had happened. Moving rather quickly she escaped his hold, grabbed her dress and slid it back on, not taking the time to fasten it back up. "Dear Spirits, what have I done?" she repeated over and over again. No matter how many times she said it, she couldn't figure out how it happened. How could she have done the unthinkable?

"Kahlan?" his voice was soft, quiet...content. He moved his arm reaching for her before opening his eyes. "What are you doing over there?" he asked as he closed his eyes for a moment before sitting himself upright. "What's wrong?" she was avoiding eye contact, "Kahlan, what is it?" he stood pulling his pants on. "I'm so sorry." she managed to gasp out right before the tears fell. "I didn't mean to... I didn't want to hurt you." Her voice trailed off barely reaching his ears. "Richard, I should have never, I knew better and yet, I could no longer control myself."

"Control yourself?" Richard finally understood. "Kahlan, I..."He couldn't find a way to explain to her that he was untouched. He walked over to her, grabbed her shoulders forcing her to look at him. "Look at me...please, I need you to see." "See what?" she asked as he reached up and wiped her tears from her face."Me." she darted her eyes to his, her eyes held no hope. After a second of looking she reached up and held his face, she studied him, trying to figure out how it was possible. How could she be seeing him?

Before while he slept she recalled the previous evenings events. She could see the images play as though they were happening at that moment, she could feel her power being released... She starred, he put his hands over hers and held them between them. "Richard?" smiling he squeezed her hands. "Yes." "How is this possible?" "I do not know. I do know that I am me, that I love you more than... anything." She couldn't help but smile back, though her confusion was quite clear to him.

"Maybe we should go see Zedd." "Zedd! He would know." Kahlan said as she started towards town. "Kahlan!" she turned back to see him motioning for her to fasten her dress. She blushed. "You should do the same." He looked down then back at her. "But I'm not wearing a dress." she couldn't stop the laugh that flowed freely. He walked to her as he pulled his shirt over his head. "Here let me help you." he said as he took the strings from her hands and finishing up the dress. The whole time his eyes never left hers, it was his way of assuring her that he was still there.

Richard laughed when she took in a deep breath trying to calm herself. His laugh lightened her spirits, causing her to widen her smile. When he finished he grabbed her hand and started off towards town.

Walking in silence Richard noted to himself how nice it was to be with her. Holding her hand was something he had done before, but only when he was trying to lead her to safety. This hi liked better. Much better. The smile on his face continued to warm her worries. Though she was happy he was unharmed, she couldn't get her mind off wondering how it was possible. What had happened.

The town was now in view and Kahlan stopped dead in her tracks. She signed heavily, "What is Zedd doesn't know what happened?" she was staring at the ground as she spoke. "It could have been anything, what if" "Kahlan, it's okay. Zedd will know. We'll figure this out, together." he gave her an assuring smile as he turned back to the path ahead. He took a step in front of her, turned back and offered her his hand. She looked at him a moment, her mind still trying to understand why he was calm and full of hope, before taking his hand and walking beside him.

Once they reached town they found Zedd, who was eating as usual. Zedd looked up at them as they approached him, hands still in each others. "What's this?" he asked as he chewed. "Zedd! Something has happened!" Kahlan said "I don't know how to begin to explain. What I did!" she was sitting on her knees. Zedd studied her for a moment and right before he spoke Richard knelt to the ground beside her and pulled her into his embrace. Holding her tightly as one hand ran through her hair, and the other ran circles over her back.

A realization flooded through him causing him to drop his bowl onto the ground "You've confessed him!" Zedd was sitting as straight as possible. His tone and his words caused Kahlan to shove herself away from Richards arms, his warmth. "No!" she shouted full of confusion. "I don't know what happened." she said with a sigh. "Richard?" Zedd was eying him carefully. "I don't know anything either. Last night we..." he trailed off knowing that Zedd understood what he was saying.

Zedd leaped up, his sudden movement cause Richard to jump up to stand as well, he walked up to Richard and stood a foot from him. "You deflowered the Mother Confessor?" That caused Kahlan to stand as well, she walked right up to him, "That's what you're thinking about?" "Well clearly you two must not have done anything. Richard is fine." Zedd returned to his seat and started to retrieve his bowl of food. "Zedd, we did do something." Richard said as he knelt down to look Zedd in the face. "That's why we came to you. I was unharmed." Zedd looked over at Kahlan who's face was almost dead, it was filled with so much pain. "How could you two have been so careless?" he re-abandoned his food. "It's not what I intended. I didn't mean to..." her voice was soft and fragile.

Zedd remained silent while he thought. "You released your power?" he asked, Kahlan nodded. "You are sure?" "Yes. I can still feel it's release." she said as she sat next to the fire, a few feet from Richard, who was right in front of Zedd. "I suppose... it could have been...defiantly could have been that..." "Zedd! Dear Spirits, finish a thought!" Richard was beginning to get frustrated. "Very well, I believe that you are unable to be confessed. By Kahlan any way." He looked at Richards confused face to Kahlan's really confused face. "I've heard that it has only accrued once or twice, but it sounds to me that your love for each other is stronger what the power of Confession." "You knew it was possible? You knew and you didn't tell us?" Kahlan's words were spoken coldly. "I could not. If I were to have told you, and you two thought that what you were feeling was strong enough, and you tried to be together and it wasn't. Richard could have been lost to us."

After a moment Richard spoke. "So, she can not confess me...Ever?" "As long as your love remains solid. True." Richard stood up, grabbed Kahlan's arm forcing her to stand as well and started back into the woods. "Don't come looking for us. We'll be just fine." Richard called over his shoulder with a smile. Leaving Zedd with one himself.

Once they were back to their original destination, Richard pulled her to him held her face in his hands, "I love you." his words were perfect. Kahlan's heart pounded as she looked into his eyes. "And I love you." her words widened his smile. It spread across his face causing his eyes to dance. She couldn't help but return the wide smile back. She pulled him to her and kissed him. She kissed him with as much passion as she had the first time they kissed. She was finally free to be a regular woman. Free to have a man, who truly loved her, who she truly loved.

END


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